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Reflection and Taking a Stand

April 16, 2013

It has been a while since I last posted, mainly because I just went through my crazy busy season at work.  Which means working 70 plus hours a week.  Before I get into some of my reflection I must start with thoughts on the Boston Marathon, as Jessica ran it this year. After cheering her on in her two year quest to train, qualify, and then run the storied Boston Marathon – I was crushed to watch the tragedy that occurred on Monday.   She finished the course prior to the explosions and actually sent me a text right after the bombs went off, I hadn’t heard anything about what happened prior to her text. She was nearby the finish area and watched the chaos that ensued after the bombs went off.  I am still waiting for her to get home safely, so I will hold off on further thoughts and blogging about the race until she is back home safe and I have the chance to really talk in depth with her about the incident.  One of my thoughts was “really!  after the last two years haven’t we faced enough already! We now have to deal with the impacts of an act of terrorism!  Really!  I want to type “Whats next!?”  But I know that there is always something else that can happen and I need to be thankful for my family, my life, even Goliath and the wonderful grace that I have been given. So knock on wood.

Now back to what I was going to write about prior to the Boston event.  It was amazing how much “fun” it was to be able to work lots of hours and feel focused, capable and like I had my brain back.  Especially in light of a year ago.  I have to be honest, a year ago I really thought I had it all together mentally. I really believed that I was on top of things mentally.   And now looking back I really see just how out of it I truly was.  It feels great to be able to focus again.  I must say that “chemo brain” is a very real thing.  I am thankful to be done with that stuff.  In March I had my first MRI post chemo, it was awesome to have a three month break from doctor’s visits.  Last year I had to make three trips a month for MRI’s, Dr. visits and blood tests.  I will admit, It was sort of eerie to have to go back to the MRI room, the waiting room, the thoughts I have of that place, the thoughts after surgery of being there, etc.  It doesn’t bring back pleasant thoughts to say the least.  But as I looked around the MRI room and the waiting room of the neurosurgery area.  I thought “man, I rock!”  I look around – much like I did at the Seattle and Portland Walks and realize that I am doing great.  I am in a much better place than so many people who are going through a battle with a brain tumor.  I almost feel horrible for saying that, but the reality is that it is true.  Aside from the big scar on my head and an occasional stutter, I don’t think anyone would know that I am living with brain cancer.  Which brings me to the first part of “taking a stand”.  When I look around, see and hear stories of others living with a brain tumor and the struggles and heartache that accompany it, I truly feel that my tumor is bigger than me.  That there is a reason, a purpose as to why I have Goliath.  That I have a part to play that is beyond what I can understand and bigger than I know.  That somehow I was chosen for this.  Thus all I can do is roll with it.  To never look back, to never wonder what if, but rather to embrace this path that has been put before me and to the best that I can do to walk it out with my head held high.

So in May, I am taking a stand and asking you to join me in my stand.  May is Brain Tumor Awareness Month. Be ready to wear lots of gray in May.  It also features “The Brains Matter Awareness Luncheon”, at which I will be one of the people speaking.  I would like to encourage the Defeat Goliath Nation to join me at this event to raise funds and awareness for people who are fighting this horrible disease, many of whom are living with very little or no hope.  The event is put on by the Chris Elliot Fund, whom I am now working with and whom I partnered with for the Seattle Brain Cancer Walk last year.  They are the organization that is there helping the folks that I see in the waiting rooms at neurosurgery – the people who make me feel like I am a rockstar, but yet at the same time they make my heart break.  So I make the call for you to join me, to celebrate hope, to give thanks to those who work so hard to fight brain cancer and tell Goliath that he is not going to win, not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

The event is May 16th 11:30 at the Bellevue Club

Click here to learn More!

My goal is to fill several tables, so join me to help EndBrainCancer!  Plus you will get to hear me talk, what more could you ask for?



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