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Cancer Guilt to Cancer Event

June 17, 2018

The past few weeks have been a bit challenging, I have witnessed the negative impacts of cancer on others.  From attending a memorial service of a wonderful woman, who received her angel wings much too young.  To seeing a true brain tumor warrior at the UW brain cancer center while getting my six month MRI. My results came back stable by the way – which is good and means another six months until my next check-up.  All the while thinking how fortunate I am to have only have an Oligodendroglioma tumor.  Yes I am totally and completely lucky to have an Oligo brain tumor.  It’s true that there is not a cure for an Oligo, but it’s not like some other types of brain cancers, that have much worse survival rates or since today is Father’s day – it’s not what my Dad had.  His cancer was far worse and his battle and pain was so incredibly worse than my own path, it’s hard to take in at times.  Yes it’s true, I feel guilty that my cancer is not worse than it is.  I can work, do the things I love and function completely as if nothing is wrong with me.  Why am I so fortunate??  I have always told myself that there must be some bigger and grand purpose for me. That there has to be some type of reason why I was given brain cancer.

Sometimes I am all in on that thought, and other moments, I am not sure if it’s true at all.  At times, I really just don’t get why I am blessed with just an Oligo and I don’t really understand why it’s not worse.  The crazy part about how I feel is that I would not want anyone to ever feel guilty about my diagnosis.  NEVER EVER!  I have been able to deal with Goliath on my terms and in my own way, thus I don’t want anyone to ever feel this way about my and my plight.  It really makes me worry that my thoughts are silly and just plain dumb.  So how to help deal with this guilt?  Try to do something cool.

Defeat Goliath is holding an event on June 27- which is a Wednesday Night at the Maison DeLille Wine Lounge in Kirkland  – 15 Lake Street  – 10% of all proceeds generated from 3pm until 9pm will go to support the Alvord Brain Tumor Center at UW.  Which is where all of my treatment has been.  More information can be found here:  Charity Event

You can also join Defeat Goliath at the Head for the Cure 5K run or walk on June 30, by going here:  5K Run Walk

Here is a mountain picture that  all of my posts need to have.  This is on Mt. Ruth in the North Cascades taken this past Memorial Day Weekend. It’s Jessica and Colby heading up towards the summit.

Photo May 27, 7 45 05 AM_preview

 

Hope you can join us!!

DEH

DG

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